Alo Monroe Baird. You, my playful little fox, have been with us for an entire three-hundred-and-sixty-five days, though it feels like you've been with us from the start. You've given my life so much more depth and meaning than I could have ever imagined. You helped me find myself, my purpose, and the drive to be the best I can be so I can be an example for you. I keep looking at this paragraph, feeling like I need to write more about how much you mean to me, but I don't think I could come up with the words if I tried.
There's so much I don't want to forget about you in this stage—you're changing and growing so much I can barely keep up. You've been waking up at night this past week, I think, because your brain is developing at the speed of light. You're still not walking, but your language has starting pouring from your lips! It surprises me when you call something by name so intentionally.
I've probably forgotten something somewhere about you. The time we've had together is so full, but at the same time peaceful. I don't want to forget any of it . . . But all I can do is watch you grow, and keep taking photos of it. I love you, Alo Monroe. You are my everything. Happy First Birthday.
Hello world. I'm back. (( With my own website this time! ))
Backstory: I used to blog religiously. Like several-times-a-week, too-many-photos, share-the-link-on-Facebook type of blogging. I'll admit, sometimes I definitely over-shared certain things in my personal life. But, I don't really regret it. What I do regret is stopping blogging. When I got engaged to my husband, life got a lot busier but also a lot simpler in lots of ways. I was in my last semester of college, Jared was applying to medical school, and we were gearing up to move to the other side of the country. So... something had to give. Blogging, music, and writing in general were just a few of those things that seemed to fall by the wayside. I became comfortable with the age-old excuse of "well, all that angst from being single is gone so....guess I'm all out of material!" I also didn't feel like I had to impress anyone anymore. I didn't have to prove that I was pithy or clever or talented to my peers. I started to shrivel up creatively, and when I moved away to a particularly unfriendly small town in Pennsylvania, I started turning more inward and becoming more private, for fear of judgement. That is not a time of my life I hold with much fondness and it really affected me.
I also had a bit of an exhausting experience with writing in general. I went through a time in my life where I had made a few close friends through a creative writing class, and a few in my editing program in college. We were passionate, perhaps naive, and ready to get published. I loved that time of my life dearly. I know I had a good story brewing inside of me, and I brought the best I could to the table in my novel-writing class, and am still to this day proud of that work. However, I think the pressure of finishing something I knew was really more of an exercise than something that would come to end up on a shelf at Barnes and Nobel, really bothered me. I felt compelled to finish it like how you're sometimes compelled to finish a book you don't like BUT you've started and there's noooo going back now. There is, I believe a bit of an unhealthy culture among writers that "YOU MUST WRITE EVERY SINGLE DAY OR ELSE YOU ARE NOT A REAL WRITER AND WILL NEVER AMOUNT TO ANYTHING." Like the DMV, Home Owner's Associations, and anything else mandatory and bureaucratic, the pressure to write every day turned into a chore that I resented. Combine that with many months of freelance editing some truly terrible self-published YA novels, and I got burnt out and tired.
I'm not writing this because I feel the need to explain to anyone why it is that I stopped writing. I'm not embarrassed that I failed at something. I'm proud that I can admit that I failed at something and that I've learned more about myself in the process. I'm writing this to give myself permission to write again, whenever the heck I want, however often I want, and to share a piece of myself with you again. I'm ecstatic to report that I am much happier than I've been over the past 3 years. I live in a town that is much warmer (though not temperature-wise), and have made life-long friends I know I'll look forward to seeing again throughout my life.
Obviously, this is a photography website first and foremost, so I plan on sharing lots of fun client and personal work with you! So while this post has few images attached, look forward to seeing many more in the future. I have found something I truly L O V E doing, and hope to rekindle the relationship I had with writing in the process.
Until next time!